How to Have an Amicable Divorce and Choose Freedom Over Blame

The question of how to have an amicable divorce is one that not many people are comfortable even discussing. However, even if you believe that having an amicable divorce is not possible, the reality of the fact is that it’s been done before, and there are former couples who have elegantly ended their marriage without any blame and without much sorrow.

The ultimate issue here is the ability to choose freedom over casting blame, however, the trick is that what you’re choosing will apply to both you and your partner. So, are you able to envision yourself and your ex living apart in a state of distant friendship and mutual respect? Read on, if you want to know how to achieve that.

The First Step Is Taken Intellectually

So, after a lot of soul searching, you finally decided that a divorce is imminent. You and your partner no longer understand each other, and the mutual attraction that used to be there is now gone. Once this happens, you’ll naturally want to learn how to have an amicable divorce and avoid any unpleasant outcomes that could affect both of you and your children.

The main obstacle in the way of an amicable divorce is that most people don’t realize that it’s possible. They go through a state of intense blame, where their belief systems are wired to assign all the responsibility for everything bad that happened to their partner. Once you rigidly hold on to that perspective, change is impossible, since your partner – even if he/she has a willingness to discuss things – will be subconsciously affected by your own lack of willingness to accept the possibility of a friendly outcome.

If you want to change your perspective, the easiest way to do so is to think about the times in your life when you and your spouse were happy and mutually respectful towards each other. Remember times when he/she was actually able to help you resolve a situation that could potentially have become volatile, and remember the traits he/she used for that purpose. By doing so, you will be in a better position to respond to those traits in the current situation, even if they are displayed less prominently than in the past.

Sitting Down to Talk

couple consulting divorce attorney

Once you have a calm and relaxed mindset, it’s time to sit down and talk about the issue at hand. A rational discussion is essential. If you have to, recommend that your partner join you in meeting with the Denver divorce lawyer to see what options are available for an amicable divorce and to learn about the alternatives.

Chances are that, if your partner sees that you are willing to go the extra mile in order to ensure an amicable divorce, he/she will not try to push a different agenda. If that’s still an issue, it is important to try to calmly drive the conversation towards the benefits of an amicable divorce. Remind your partner that the children would suffer if they were subjected to a trial, and tell him/her about the many advantages that they would benefit from personally.